What should a birth partner do in labour ?
That’s not scrolling on their phone / having a nap/ moaning about how uncomfortable the chairs are 👀
Most birth partners REALLY want to be an active part of labour and birth. But for most birth partners, it can feel an unsettling and unfamiliar time - and they can feel worried about doing or saying the wrong thing. They may also feel understandably scared about the experience, potential outcomes or how their partner changes during labour (making ~unusual noises, taking clothes off, shouting or appearing in distress).
But if your birth partner knows what their job is - it’s a game changer. If you’re both clear on the plan, you can really work as a team. It’s something that always forms a massive part of my birth prep courses- both my 1:1 and my group sessions. And it’s amazing what birth partners & mums say after they’ve worked with me - the change in confidence & engagement is always so good to see 🙌🏼
So here’s 3 things that a birth partner can do to support you during labour ….
know your birth plan inside out. You should be writing your birth plans (plural - see previous posts!) together, so you are both clear on preferences in different scenarios. Birth partner should be prepared to answer questions on your behalf rather than turning to you whilst you are labouring. And they need to feel confident and prepared to be firm with clinicians if needed - yes it can feel uncomfortable, but it’s not about being rude or confrontational. It’s about knowing your options & rights and being prepared to discuss them.
Be ready to set up the birth space, know where everything is (ideally they will have packed the hospital bags!) and be prepared to pivot if plans change. Discuss and be ready to adapt to a range of different locations, whether that’s transferring to hospital or not having a birth pool available. They need to be ready to adapt & be the calm presence in the room.
Practice your coping techniques ahead of time & be ready to deploy them. Hypnobirthing is not a solo endeavour - your birth partner should be practicing the techniques that work for you (massage, breathing, movement, counter pressure, visualisations etc) and be suggesting different options as you move through labour. They should also know your preferences around pharmaceutical pain relief and when you want it (eg asking for an epidural early on if desired).
